7 Myths About Creating A Better Relationship

by Cecil McIntosh

In my private practice for over 14 years no matter what my clients have come to see me about, there has always been an issue about a better relationship.

Here are 7 of the most common misconceptions my clients have related to me about having a better relationship. These misconceptions are followed by my perspective on each one of them.

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Myth 1

I have to love everything about my partner

Reality Check 1

You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt behaviors from your parents, teacher, coaches, church etc. (who did their best to teach you about a better relationship). These behaviors have become the backbone for your way of living and having a better relationship.

Perhaps a common behavior that irritates having a better relationship would be leaving the toilet seat up after use. This is merely a behavior and not the essence of the person. However, when you may consider this behavior to be the person, this destroys the concept of a better relationship, creating all kinds of conflict in your need for a better relationship.

Myth 2

Love means that I can fix my partner

Reality Check 2

You met your partner because of some special quality or charteristic that you admired. You need to accept and allow that quality to flourish in order to allow you and your partner to grow into a better relationship.

You may be unaware that you do not even like yourself. Yet by allowing your partner to grow and expand, you will experience the quality of your partner and the beauty within you, as you begin to enjoy a better relationship.

Myth 3

I am supposed to give up the things I like in order to be in a better relationship.

Reality Check 3

Giving up the things you like to be in a better relationship is like take a knife and cutting away a part of yourself.

Your better relationship is based on the uniqueness of you and your partner.

When you give up your uniqueness you rob yourself of a better relationship, your passion and your partner of your creativity.

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Myth 4

I will be rescued by a knight in shining armour

Reality Check 4

You may have been conditioned to live your life expecting someone to take care of you. What happens if that person becomes ill? and is no longer able to take care of you.

Your responsibility in creating a better relationship, is to bring your passion to the table of your relationship. Some days you will be the knight in shining armour and another day your partner will be the knight in shining armour of a better relationship.

You will each get a chance to shine like star in a better relationship because of your strengths and weaknesses.

Myth 5

It cost a lot to be in a relationship

Reality Check 5

In a material context, a better relationship can be expensive if you think that love is based on the bigger house, car or boat. Although some of these material assets are necessary, they should not be at the expense of creating a better relationship.

Love is creating a better relationship by building a relationship that is based on the simple things in life, like walking and holding hands, going on a picnic (just the two of you), or sharing an ice cream.

Love in a better relationship is not about what you show on the outside but what you express in you heart. Love is not about money or materialism, love just is.

Myth 6

Love in a relationship is or is not a feeling

Reality Check 6

It is not what you say, it is what you do. You can say, “I love you” which may be merely words and no feelings (action). Love is the action of doing.

If you make a cup of tea for yourself, (the water is boiled), make a cup of tea for your partner. Whether your partner wants the tea or not is irrelevant, it is the thought that counts and the action that cements a better relationship.

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Myth 7

I don’t have to work at my relationship

Reality Check 7

As a child, you learned to creep before you walked. Then you learned the letters of the alphabet. In order to write, you had to learn how to put those letters together to make words and sentences.

These sentences then become the way in which you communicated.

When you and your partner stop communicating after learning how to use the letters of the alphabet in sentences, it’s like 2 tape recorders talking to each other – Nobody is at home to enjoy a better relationship.

In summary:

  • 1. Your partner’s behavior in a better relationship is not your partner’s true essence.
  • 2. There is no need to have a clone of yourself. A better relationship requires some variety.
  • 3. Giving up of your uniqueness to be in a better relationship is like throwing out the baby with the bath water.
  • 4. In a better relationship there are no superior partners, just equal partners.
  • 5. Love in a  better relationship  is not about money and the material assets (although there are important) but the simple things in life.
  • 6. Love in a better relationship is active not passive.
  • 7. Lack of communication crushes your desire for a better relationship.


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How To Have A Healthy Relationship, 3 Traps To Avoid

By: W. Scott and Stephon Devereux

How to have a healthy relationship is for the individuals who discovered somebody to love yet think that its hard to keep that affection alive. Discovering somebody to love is not generally simple, witness the colossal development in web based dating sites intended to make discovering love less demanding; however to keep up the relationship is the place the genuine work comes in.

Regardless of whether you discovered your love interest at a congregation social, an online setting, or by cruising the bar scene, that somebody unique got your attention and you were sufficiently fascinated to discover more about him or her.

Odds are that you two were putting your “best foot forward” as is commonly said in your appearance and conduct while you were becoming acquainted with each other. After some time, it is not just hard to dependably be looking and acting your best, however the nature of the relationship can even breed fatigue.

Couples who wish to keep up the relationship need to associate on a more earnest level than simply the shallow beginnings of your get together and dating. This affection relationship guidance is intended for transitioning into a long term, happy and rewarding relationship for both of you.

There are numerous pitfalls you can experience as your relationship advances, and this more often than not happens gradually enough that you don’t understand it is going on. Realizing what to keep an eye out for can help you stay away from them.

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Here are 3 normal traps you need to keep away from so you can keep the spark and attraction between you.

1) Having unlikely desires of your mate.

When you initially meet you truly don’t have the foggiest idea about that much about the other individual, however in the event that you are pulled in to them give them kudos for being “immaculate” – honest until demonstrated liable, you may state.

After some time you take in their shortcomings and weaknesses that everybody has and some of these will disturb you. It might even outrage you that he or she is not perfect like you trusted.

You have to comprehend that as they pardon your defects, you have to excuse theirs. Take a shot at your own particular character blemishes for both your advantage and theirs, positively. Try not to be more disparaging of them than you need them to be of you.

2) Not conveying adequately.

Everybody is wired contrastingly on this, and surely men uniquely in contrast to ladies. There will need to be give and take; you both may even need to grow your usual range of familiarity by they way you express your emotions.

Try not to be hesitant to discuss your sentiments with your partner, particularly if something is pestering you enough that it is meddling with your relationship; notwithstanding making you consider separation.

Continuously do as such in a non angry way and keep up your cool, regardless of the possibility that he or she doesn’t.

3) Mistaking sex for adoration.

After some time you will locate the physical side of the relationship inconsistent with the enthusiastic side. They are not the same. Some tragically think a slip by in the room segment is an indication that the adoration is no longer solid.

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Ladies and men don’t see a similar association amongst adoration and sex. Ladies see the one as only one method for communicating the other. Men may consider sex to be an outflow of their manliness and the womans enthusiasm as a sign of her adoration for him.

At the point when this issue gets befuddled in can prompt hurt, outrage and weight on the relationship. That is the point at which the correspondence needs to kick in and the both of you talk about, tranquilly, exactly what is happening in your psyches.

A great deal of things change as we age, both physically and with the many-sided quality of our lives. These progressions influence each accomplice distinctively and as strains increment it takes persistence and comprehension to work them out.

This is superbly typical.

Figure out how to repair any harm in your marriage or relationship brought on by these or other regular traps by getting the best love relationship guidance you can.

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Pretty Nasty Arguments with Your Adult Dating Partner

By: ardie claveria and Stephon Devereux

Some couples can have pretty nasty arguments in the span of their adult dating relationships. These arguments can even get worse and we’re talking about brutal name calling and throwing around each other’s stuff. Clearly, this kind of explosive behavior needs some cool-down tips. And even if you and your adult dating partner don’t fight quite that intensely, it’s never a bad idea to have a few tricks up your sleeve for taking a blow-out down a notch.

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  •  Take a 30-minute pause. Separate and do other things for half an hour. According to studies, it takes that much time to completely calm down. Once you’re both more relaxed and chill, you can resume the conversation. This way, you’ll be able to state your points more clearly.
  •  Let your guy know you hear him out by telling him that his argument is valid, but you feel differently about it. What often happens is fights escalate because the one person gives the impression that the other is not listening.


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  •  To effectively diminish a heated argument, try saying something light and funny. Make an amusing comment on something happening in the moment, or refer to something in the past that made you both laugh it will help break the tension in the air and make you both relax and start over.
  •  Position your shoulders and knees facing your man to show that you’re invested in him, even if you’re furious.  The wrong body language can worsen an already escalating argument arms crossed, foot tappingFind Article, or eyes rolling can make your man feel you don’t care.

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